September 18, 2017


A dozen, a gross, and a scorePlus three times the square root of fourDivided by sevenPlus five times elevenis nine squared and not a bit more. 
— Anonymous

September 16, 2017


"Hello! I'd like to order two cool people and one cool dog, please."
"Coming right up, sir! 
First, here's one of our very coolest humans."
"But we are also very fond of this woman..."
"And now for your final order — we hope you like it!"

September 8, 2017


Okay, whatever you do, just look out for those trees. 
Never mind. 

Okay, just get to the top and slide on down. 
Right, now just SLIDE—
Oh, just forget it.

September 7, 2017

So something awful happened in Portland...

This photo (by Kristi McCluer) was taken in the Columbia Gorge the other day. Tens of thousands of acres of forest are burning. Ash is falling in Portland, and it’s quite sad. 

Maybe the worst part of this is that the fire was started by people setting off fireworks in the wilderness. 

So just a reminder to everyone — please don’t do that!

September 2, 2017

September 1, 2017

Dang it!

I set my hiking boots to "Do not track," but this still happened!

Dear Online Form:

Having to choose "Bald" as a hair color impugned my dignity. Just for that, I get to be nine feet tall. Sincerely, Bart